Today’s the day. I can feel it. I have a mountain of work to do, and plenty of time to do it. I’m going to mentally strategise my plan of attack. I think of the breakfast I’m going to make once I hop out of bed; something healthy, delicious, filling, vaguely aesthetically pleasing.
Maybe I’ll make myself a coffee. Caffeine doesn’t sit well with me generally. I’m highly strung and anxious by nature, so adding a stimulant to the mix, one that heightens my natural tendencies, doesn’t always land me with the productive day that I hope for. But in saying that, it does make me feel productive, so today I think I’ll take the risk.
I’ve got a few different projects to work on, so I’ll start off by writing a to-do list. That way I can break my day down into manageable sections and feel accomplished when I tick everything off. So, first a nice heading: To-Do List, followed by today’s date. Then I’ll write down some things that are quick and easy to tick off: Check assignment guidelines, write down due dates in my calendar and diary… Maybe I should section my list into different subjects so that I have a good overview of everything I need to do? Was there a video I saw about how to write a to-do list in the most effective way? Maybe that was just part of a YouTube video on bullet journaling?
Now I’m considering whether I should try that again, after all, it is the perfect combination of a creative outlet and organisational tool. (Wait, am I an organisational tool? According to Urban Dictionary a ‘tool’ is ‘someone whose ego far exceeds his [sic] talent’. Am I compensating for my lack of productivity and organisation under the guise of bullet journaling inspiration and to-do lists? Am I just terrible at being a functioning human? I’ll come back to this, I don’t have time today; my schedule is full enough.)
How could I forget that I need to brush my teeth and do my morning skin care routine? Well, I don’t actually have a morning skin care routine. But I have been meaning to implement one, and if I’m going to have a productive day then today may as well be the day that I start. Ok, so according to my fresh-faced and glowing friends, a foolproof skin care routine should go as follows:
Wash face with cleanser that you purchased on the approval of a ‘celebrity’ you (think?) may be well known, but perhaps they were just in Neighbours or something.
Next, some oil. Because contrary to everything you believed as an oily-faced teen, oil actually is your friend (it’s the secret ingredient to that naturally radiant ‘glow’ you’re after).
Then to seal in the advantageous oils, some very expensive moisturiser that you’ve been rationing out from a small, clear sample pot you got from Mecca several months ago. It was on the recommendation of a sales assistant, and upon some research you were shocked and vaguely humbled that this woman, also in her 20s and working in retail, thought that you could afford a daily moisturiser with a recommended retail price of $329.
You can finish strong with a swipe of Lucas’ Papaw Ointment over your chapped lips, and you’ll be ready to get going.
What next? Perhaps I’ll do some exercise to really get the blood flowing and endorphins firing. A walk? Or maybe an at-home workout that I’ve seen on Instagram; those influencers look like they know what they’re doing, and they’ve got the physiques to attest to it. I think I’ll do one of those, that way I can justify the endless hours that I’ll undoubtedly be spending at my desk today. Oh, the interminable hours spent chipping away at the readings of poorly scanned chapters from books that are too old to be in the same room as something as technologically advanced as a scanner. And that essay on, um, well, once I read that assignment guideline I’ll know what it’s about, but still, many hours will be spent working on that essay. Or at least thinking about it.
What is a good productive-day-at-home outfit? Definitely has to be activewear. I mean I will be working out so there’s no point in putting the clothes in the wash straight after my sweat-sesh. That way if I go out later and have to run some errands I’ll be comfortable. But also maybe it’ll keep me motivated to go for an afternoon walk as well? For reasons I cannot explain, I have a rather large collection of activewear: lots of lycra, lots of singlets. Lots of, to be frank, clothes I do not ever wear, nor feel comfortable in. For that very reason, I will be choosing black leggings and a black t-shirt (because black is chic and slimming) — to celebrate this momentous, productive day, and to #fake-it-till-I-make-it until I have harnessed all the confidence I need to tackle the day ahead.
Music. No, a podcast. One of those motivational ones that I’ve heard so many people talking about. Or one that’s just a bit naff and light-hearted? A playlist of productivity might be better, something calming, but also something that will stimulate all those neural pathways. I’ll re-assess when I get started perhaps. OH! I can listen to this on my walk as a little reward. I definitely have to go for a walk later on then.
One thing that has been holding me back is my organisational system on my laptop, I’m sure of it. I think I’ll backup my computer first, and then sort what I do and don’t need. That way I can easily find my files and documents, and can streamline my semester, getting on top of everything both physically and digitally.
First things first though, got to get my workout over and done with. This fifteen-minute 'tush and legs workout with cardio burst’ looks like it should do the trick. I’ve just got to clear a space and get started. Ok, so this isn’t too bad. I’ve been able to keep up with this Victoria’s Secret model-turned-shampoo-ambassador so far. Maybe I’ll be able to do this every day and see some pretty significant results? Okay, ‘tush’ portion of the video is over, so just have to do this quick cardio then I’m as good as done. Wow, alright, things just got a LOT harder, how does she move like that? Perhaps I can just do five instead of ten reps, that’s better than nothing, right?
That seriously took it out of me, but now it’s time to get started. I’ve got a good outline of the day ahead, and I feel like I’m going to be super productive now that I’ve done my workout. I’ll make my coffee, and then just quickly have a scroll through my social media. That way it’s out of my system, and I’m not tempted for the rest of the day. Oh, they just released a new vlog — ‘A Day in My Life: Productive Day Working From Home’. Man, it’s like the universe just knows how my day is going to pan out!
Ok, so coffee consumed, video watched, I just have to finish up with this Instagram scroll and I’m good to go. My heart is beating a little fast and I’m not feeling too well after that coffee. I’m sure once I get going I’ll feel better though, and then I’ll be productive.
Or at the very least I’ll be an organisational tool. Not the compensatory-ego type, but the brings-order-to-chaos type, who works smarter, better, faster. Ok now I’ve definitely seen a video about that. Who doesn’t want to organise their way into a streamlined life, or to toy with the notion of a seamless existence, far removed from this untameable and chaotic world? I need to re-watch it, maybe take some notes. After all, if you can’t be ‘em, join ‘em… maybe I should become a YouTuber?
I think I’ll add it to my to-do list.
Hannah Kammerhofer is currently studying a Masters of Creative Writing, Publishing and Editing. With a BA in psychology and history, believed to be the world's most useless degree, Hannah has found ways to integrate it into her everyday life; she is always in her head and living in the past