So, lately, I’ve been watching lots of TV and listening to Spotify playlists. I’d say not so much ‘watching’ TV, as flat out bingeing. [1] Inhaling entire series in one hit―The Dark Crystal, The Witcher, The Mandalorian/Boba Fett, Vida, Schitt’s Creek―while also re-watching favourite shows. Like that earworm song that gets stuck in my head, I’m often so completely overcome with the need to watch something or play that tune again to set the day’s tone right. Sometimes it’s to get me inspired to face the writing day (or week) or help create that certain heartfelt mood for a piece. Out of all of these consumed TV shows, one has stayed and struck a resounding chord; it combines both TV and music and it is based on a book. Yep, it’s High Fidelity (2019), but with bi-racial and bisexual African-American Zoë Kravitz as reboot-Rob.
The 2008 film version originally starred one post-grunge record shop owner and white guy John Cusack as ‘Rob’ and featured Kravitz’s mom, Lisa Bonet, as Marie De Salle, the très super cool musician/shag/love interest. The film, like the (alas, now defunct) TV series, was based on Nick Hornby’s 1995 novel, whose first page opens to a list ― ‘desert-island … top five most memorable split-ups’.
That got me thinking, what carefully curated list would I give to the world? Well, a list about me – of course.
So, here’s my ultimate top five pop-culture list featuring all us Suzes. [2]
Number 1: ‘Wake up, little Susie, wake up!’
The phone alarm’s gone off, it’s 9 o’clock and you’re still half-asleep. Wake up, you not-so-little Susie! Wake Up! Imagine the 1993 film Groundhog Day but set today, and this version, sung by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel (1982), is my anthemic childhood theme song. [3]
You see, my Latina Ma would sing this to me as a little chica to get me up and out of bed. Every mañana, she’d be rushing to get me out of bed, hurrying me to get dressed, eat mi tostada con vegemite, make it to the train, so I’d arrive at school, (my White-Australia policy childhood nemesis), on time. ‘Wake up a-leettle Soooss-sseee,’ (imagine this sung with a Spanish acento; the ‘e’ is extra ‘e’ sounding and the ‘s’ is super super soft like leche flan), ‘wake up!’.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this song. Ma still busts this tune out every time I’m back home in Brisbane. It’s past 9 o’clock and I’m still asleep in my too-small childhood bed in my too-small bedroom. Ma’ll croon this as she brings me a hot maté cocido in bed (a tender moment, don’t judge). [4]
Listening to the lyrics, I’ve often wondered why Susie has to, ‘Wake up!’ If I had to pitch this to show you how diversity works and what’s going down with my Latinx Susie, I’d say this. It seems like this singsong Susie, possibly an older teen, or young adult, with a traditional first- gen migrant Ma or Pa or both, has accidentally fallen asleep ‘at the movies’ (yeah, good one) and now it’s past curfew or it’s morning and Susie and said non-defined ‘friend’ are freaking out because their parents are old-country-traditional and she’s not texted them since last night so she’s gonna get into BIIIIGGG trouble, I’m talking ooh-la-la-palisa-like-I’m-disowning- you-what-a-family-disgrace!
You know, I feel for this Susie. I really do.
But I also know this sleepy headed Susie is a budding storyteller.
Susie’s gonna wake up, catch that train, and like that record, spin a great story on her way home.
Number 2: A Tale of Two Susies/Suzies/Suzys (pseudo echo echo)
Coming in at number two, it’s a coin-flip heads-tails toss-up between two of my favourite forms of entertainment featuring a couple of teen TV Susies/ Suzies versus one very angsty pre-teen film Suzy. You decide.
Tails 1: Calling Susie/Theo Putnam
Alright, this is for all The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018-2020) binge watching fans. Who absolutely doesn’t love cute non-binary, trans boy Susie (born)/Theo Putnam, the drummer of the band who is guided by their ancestral Aunt Dorothea’s ghost, especially after that episode where they save the day due to Theo’s inter-species relationship with a helpful sprite. (Go speedy Robin, the hobgoblin. Go!). But it’s watching those other tender moments that takes you right back ― to your own high school days, sitting around sharing lunch, but with several clear script changes. This Theo can totally be themselves, can become who they really need to be and the result is their total acceptance (no judgement or indifference). That’s what makes Theo such a key gang member to Sabrina Spellman’s weirdo inclusive mortal hybrid mix friendship group. For this you can’t help but stand up as you cheer and clap at your TV screen, ‘¡Olé! ¡Viv@ l@s diferencex!’
Or
Tails 2: ‘This is Suzie, I copy.’
‘Suzie(-Poo)’ is ‘Dusty(buns)’ Henderson’s maths/tech whizz (future feminist STEM) girlfriend, (Dustin tells his friends he met her at ‘camp’, [cue eye-rolling]; but after failing to contact her via his CB radio/ home-made antennae, no-one believes she exists), that is until her ever-so-brief-last-minute appearance in the third season of Stranger Things, and only with Dustin’s careful handling does she reveal her knowledge of Planck’s Constant, thus helping the stranger kids ‘save the world from Russians and monsters’.
See, you could’ve learnt so much about this Suzie growing up as a chica – she loves studying, especially maths and science (meh), she loves the radio (okay), she’s romantic (getting better), grows up in a remote place, Utah (yeah, I get that), but then like the New Kids on the Block this Suzie knows how to ‘hang tough’ and assert herself (bingo). Suzie saves the day, gets her way, and declares her power by prompting Dustin into a duet of Limahl’s (ah, that two-tone 80’s mullet) classic hit, The Never-Ending Story. This Suzie maybe a cameo, but her scene stealing singing and special skills are able to induce love-me-tender tears of pure adolescente nostalgic joy. [5]
Or
Heads: Little brother: ‘You’re a traitor to our family.’ Suzy: ‘Good, I want to be.’
Suzy Bishop is the young, pre-teen-angsty, pink/yellow mod minidress wearing, fantasy book reading, kitten carrying, raven bird runaway ‘troubled-child’ and love interest/unofficial bride of khaki scout Sam Shukusky in Wes Anderson’s film Moonrise Kingdom (2012). Who can forget the tenderlings Suzy and Sam, cutting footloose on the beach, dancing in their underwear while Francoise Hardy’s record echoes the film’s theme, ‘C’est le temps d’amour, les temps de copains et l’aventure’.
You know this headstrong, vulnerable, and misunderstood Suzy who gets into arguments and bad moods because her familia and hermanos won’t listen to her. Yet this Suzy follows her heart and escapes out the window, resulting in one wild cross-country stormy adventure. We should all take a page out of Suzy’s book; lean in, gather round as she reads from her carefully curated collection. See what daringly dangerous ideas a chica get by immersing herself in fantastical stories of a girl from another planet. For that, you win.[6]
Number 3: Susy Bitch
Now, what’s a dog doing on this list you may ask. It’s not in a film nor featured in a song, so it shouldn’t even be here. But you know sometimes, anthropocentric rules gotta bend.
I was talking to my partner about my list, and that’s when he told me the story of Susy Bitch.
‘Susy Bitch was my grandad’s dog. My gong gong in Singapore used to bring home all these stray animals. I remember his house full of dogs and cats; he had a pangolin, (a little ant eater that would roll up into a ball), a pelican, and monkey (it hanged himself; maybe it was because the pelican would always harass it). Anyway, he had this sandy coloured dog. She looked like one of those mongrel street dogs you see wandering around the markets. It was his. Don’t know if she was a crazy dog or driven crazy (in love). Man, she was the ultimate bitch to everyone. So fierce. But the looks she’d give him…’ [7]
What you love most about Susy-Bitch is their mixto/mongrel background, their loyalty, their teeth-baring fierceness, and tender-chunks love (for a human) that was borderline deranged. Lesson learnt here: Susy-Bitch was never gonna let you forget they were a wild animal at heart, and despite domesticity, was never to be tamed.
Number 4: Suzi Quatro (cheap gag, I know)
You can’t beat this bad-ass rocker. American-born from a mixed multi migrant background (her mum’s Hungarian too, woo hoo – like your dad), her Italian grandfather shortened his last name from ‘Quattrocchi’, which literally means four-eyes, (yeah that old be-spectacled, vision impairment ableist insult, but note to self – a muy cool name/ability for a super villain). Again, I dare you to watch this Suzi belt out, Can the Can (1973) and not be moved to pick up your air guitar and pretend to make it scream. Though Suzi Q is now a 70+ rock singer, what impressed you the most watching TV back in the day as a culo de sofa/couch potato kid, was her appearance on the sitcom Happy Days, as wait for it, the greaser, ‘Leather Tuscadero’. Just like she broke the Fonz’s heart, this lead singer and guitarist in the band tenderised yours and so many other girls’ minds, especially mixed migrant teens worldwide, to break with tradition – roles, expectations, jobs, and pursue their artistic dreams. This Suzi continues to be beyond cool. She’s S.E Hinton mustang tough.
Number 5: Mrs Maisel is Marvelous, but Susie Meyerson (and Associates) is Wonderful
Alright, here’s the thing, I grew up watching a lot of great comedic duos: Laurel and Hardy, Dean Martin and Jerry Louis, Tom and Jerry, Laverne and Shirley, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Daryl Somers and Ossie Ostrich, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, Bill and Ted, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane. The thing about these comedic peeps is that one is not better than the other, but better because of what the other is able to bring out.
Cue: Susie Meyerson and Associates.
From the moment ‘Midge’ (the superb Rachel Brosnahan) from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel stumbles into the Gaslight club in her nightdress, whips her ‘tits out’ while doing a late-night impromptu comedy spiel about her marriage breakdown and gets arrested, rich, cute, Jewish, up-and-coming feminist and comedienne, the sharp-tongued, well-dressed Mrs Miriam Maisel stole your heart. That was until – enter club manager ‘Susie’ Meyerson (badass Alex Borstein [8]), who discovers her and opens her mouth, and bang–the race to the wisecracks truly begins.
You understand this Susie because she is everything rich and privileged Midge ain’t – short, rough, unfeminine, unrefined, poor, starving, yet doing what she can to eke out a living. This Susie grew up in the rough part of New Jersey (you get it), has an alcoholic Ma (you empathise) and has dubious siblings (doesn’t every familia?). This Susie lives in a dodgy basement hovel in New York, has a gambling problem, and dresses like the Artful Dodger, the street urchin from Oliver Twist. [9] Sure, she’s street-smart, foul mouthed and flawed, but she’s also fearless; she spots (Miriam’s) talent a mile away.
Suzie’s tender pride won’t let her admit that Miriam has become more than a friend; it’s not because she doesn’t want to come across as delicate or weak, but because sees so much potential for this female comedienne (and others, including herself) – these two women are the future, and it’s up to them to change the business.
Like you, this Suzie’s isn’t a young pendeja (she’s been around the block), but she’s still considered ‘emerging’ in the field. She’s a minority trying to make a name for herself in a big, tough, limited, inequitable, impenetrable, imbalanced mono-dominated industry of creating art where no one wants to back or promote them. In fact, when Suzie does help another artist (the self-centred, talented, publicity-driven, insecure comic Sophie Lennon – you understand) she gets publicly and royally humiliated.
You gotta say, sure Suzie’s gonna make mistakes, but to do what she does to break into this field, takes guts and balls and whole lotta gall to keep going.
Okay Suzie Meyerson and Associates, you win.
To end this list, I’ll love yas and leave yas with a Susie (Meyerson) inspired quote (-not one for the tender-hearted). ‘Yeah those Suzes … they’re funny as f*ck.’
Suzanne Hermanoczki is a writer and teacher of creative writing with a PhD and Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Melbourne. Her works on the immigrant journey, memory and postmemories, code-switching and bi/multi-cultural identity, Latinx, gringos and magic realism, have been published in local and international publications including, Australian Multilingual Writing Project, Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, Meanjin, Overland, Puentes Review and Verge Anthology. Suzanne loves lists and her top three include – maté con leche and Julio Iglesias, Speedy Gonzales and gringos, and Tokaji and trash TV.
Notes:
[1] Alright! You can blame Covid, but I’ll admit it – as a child/adult, I was/am a couch potato.
[2] I googled the name, and this drink called ‘The Suze’ came up. I asked a friend what they thought the drink would be; they said they imagined it as something potent (not quite poison), but something you’d only be dared to drink. Not for the tender-hearted.
[3] Originally sung by The Everly Brothers in 1957, the song was so controversial, (a girl staying the night over her boy/‘friend’s’ place, oh my) it was ‘banned’ from being played on the radio. Ooh la-la!
[4] maté – as in yerba mate, the green herbal tea that us Argentinos love to drink day and night. Though it’s pronounced mah-teh, I like the Aussie pronunciation of it, ‘You want some, mate?’
[5] So Stranger Nerds, Suzie and her tech skillz are pretty important in Season 4.
[6] love Suzy’s suitcase full of books as much as I enjoyed Kate Sullivan’s ‘Summer Reading for Suzy Bishop of Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom’ (2012), https://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/pageviews/summer-reading-suzy-bishop-wes-anderson- moonrise-kingdom-blog-entry-1.1638582
[7] I was with my cousin in Mar Del Plata, Argentina, driving back from a picnic in las pampas, when this Stephen King-esque Cujo-like barrio dog attacked the car and almost bit the sidemirror clean off cos we were on its turf. Ah, I thought, ‘Viva, el Espíritu de Susy Bitch!’
[8] I read that Borstein’s Hungarian nagymama/ granny left Hungary after the 1956 Revolution – so did my dad. I reckon there’s about three degrees of separation between us!
[9] Spoiler alert: after her roommate/ best friend Jackie, dies in her old place, mobsters Frank and Nicky ‘help’ (yup) Suzie by offering her a new apartment, complete with blood stains (Mrs Maisel, season 4, episode 4).
Reference List:
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--- (TV Series), Created by Kucserka, Sarah & West, Veronica, Hulu, 2020. Hinton, S.E. The Outsiders, Random House, 1967.
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chance-glees-jane-lynch-on-alcoholism-ambition-and-the-return-of-mrs-maisel
Stranger Things, Created by The Duffer Brothers, Netflix Streaming Service, 2016-present.
Wendoff, M. ‘Planck Constant in “Stranger Things”. Interesting Engineering. 13 Aug 2019. https://interestingengineering.com/plancks-constant-in-tv-show-stranger-things